Just got off night shift. I think I need an EKG and some ativan stat. I have never been so utterly angry inside at work in my whole life.

You know that nurse - the nurse you dred to work with - I hate venting about stuff like this but I'm a nOObie on my unit so I have virtually no one to talk to about it. So the nurse you dred to work with. Well after being on this new unit for the last three weeks I have heard all the rumors and stories about this nurse. The "she passes the buck", "don't take sh*t from her", "tell her straight up", "hell to work nights with"... god damn well I cannot believe I walked onto shift thinking things might be different for me - and maybe this nurse just needs a chance.

Are you kidding me? I got sh*t on like a high fleet enema. Can you do this for me that for me. Dammit! It's so hard to say no - I was so angry - I wish the words could come out nicely but unfortunately I have nothing but angry bad things to say!!!

Of course - me being the new nurse trying to stay on my toes etc. - I just kept quiet and did the work. By the end of the shift I was contemplating a new job. Fortunately the other nurse I was working with acknowledged the fact that I was driven all night by this B*itch. Everyone who came on shift commented sarcasm - "I'm sure you guys had a great night". I'm so glad I only have two night shifts each month with her. Gosh! GOSH GOSH!

If anyone out there is reading this - please do share some ways to tell someone to do it themselves.

Whipped into shape,
Nursey Nurse

change is so stressful

So in the event of attempting to gain a broader scope of experience - I left my "brainless" - neuro unit - for a general surgery full time position. Man - oh - man. Changing over from an area where my pts are bluntly brainless or debrained - elderly - awaiting death or placement... to an area where pts are coherant - post operative - acutely ill - shoved out the door in matter of days... I've gone from cleaning bums, lifting and turning and ambulating - back breaking work ---- to dressings, drains, high turnover and too many IV meds. It's quite the change.

I am not demeaning my old job in any sense but the truth is - you are busy but with primarily physically demanding tasks. While most post CVA and general neuro pts - they don't have much else for you to do - the families can be crazy like any other place but pts generally need physically support rather than medical stabilization. So you are crazy busy giving out meds in the AM for those little or large 90 yo pts with long histories of dm, chf, afib, htn - you know the drill. Billions of meds in the morning. We only have one nursing attendent - if your pt isn't tubbed - you are washing them. Anyway the point is - most of them don't have the abilities or logic to do much for themselves - that's what you are busy with.

It's damn scary going to a new position with new coworkers and different pts. I loved - like absolutely loved the staff on neuro. I miss working with them so much. But my back is starting to kill me - I've just started my career - I must try something new.

I have only been on the new unit now for less than a week and it feels as if I've learned so much. I guess it doesn't take long to jump into the trenches and do what ya gotta do.

I just wanted to thank all the nurses out there that are supportive of new staff members. The patience and understanding is greatly appreciated. Nursing has come onto some stressful times - with short staffing - increased loads - and decreased management support. It's great to walk onto a new team and feel welcomed.

New unit - new change - here I come - wish me luck.

you always END UP with what you DON'T WANT

You know that peculiar feeling when you are on your way to work ~ 'please do not let me have room __'.... Well let me tell you that each time I have ever felt that way - I always end up with what I do not want!

Do you think entering old age >70 years old for some people turns out to be a recurrence of infant life? For some people it seems to be true. The diapers, the spoon feedings, the clean ups, the lack of judgment.. the list goes on - especially on the "brainless" unit I work on. It is truly like being a baby - just a really oversized version.

When babies cry and moan we usually give them something to suck on or maybe some milk. When the oversized babies cry and moan - we give them a nice concoction of whatever works - ativan, halidol, loxapine, risperidone....

I am not saying all of this out of disrespect to my elderly patients. I apologize if it appears that way. It is just interesting how life works sometimes.

___________________________________________

Anyway.. So yesterday on the train and not to mention the night before that lying in bed - I was completely obsessed with 'please do not let me have room _ _' tomorrow. As usual I get to work - thinking that if I keep my ritual routines after arriving - I would somehow miraculously not have room _ _. Well my day was officially ruined at 0630 when I saw my assignment. Special so called VIP patient with pending lawsuit and crazy family was going to be my responsibility today. Of course me being the ultra careful - paranoid schizophrenic I treated room _ _ as if there were hidden cameras placed inside. What an awful shift it was.

humor me please

In an attempt to vent away (blog) at my two 12hr day shifts last night - the nasty 12's got the best of me and I ended up playing video games to send the stress away. For now that is my somewhat effective way of coping with the trials and tribulations of nursing.

Imagine that in an interview "So how do you handle stress?"

"I grab a controller, beat the sh*t out of the aliens in a journey to save the halo ring~"

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So yesterday I had a hell of a shift.

The first 8 hours were busy but due to great teamwork everything went smooth.

Then I was placed in charge at 1500.

Pt with "people in high places - i want constant care by the nursing staff 24 hours" newly diagnosed with a paralytic ileus - on top of pt's many many multisystem problems.

Attending orders put NG and set to low inter suction. The doc says hmmm pt has a peg... wonder if we can hook suction up to that.. Doc asks me to call around.

I call General systems ICU, and GI surg and they both say.. intersting idea, but never seen it done.

I'm told to call the pegmaster pig (surgeon who inserted peg). I ask him NICELY for clinical expertise and opinion on whether or not it's possible to set peg to suction. WELL that's when my day went to hell. Like every typical frustrating, not to mention totally demeaning nurse doctor situation.

He responds: (in a DEMEANING and CONDECENDING TONE)
"I'm not even on call - I answered this call to be nice"
"If I were speaking to the attending I would answer the question - but you are JUST A NURSE"

At that point I did not hear the rest of his little bitch snort fest. I was beet red with my confidence in my clogs. Everybody's watching me with wide eyes. I held the phone away from my ear about to burst into tears.

You know how you feel when you've worked your sorry bum off all day and then you're in charge with no brain or energy left? Well coupled with a rude doctor demeaning your profession and you could very well burst into tears. But I didn't - instead all I could say was "I'm sorry".

Last night I was beating myself up over the incident. Letting that doc ignite every fiber of anger left in my body. I was floored. Next time I promise myself - I will not be a floor mat! NEVER! uggghhh!

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Needless to say, coming home and burying myself in aromatic hot tea & my xbox controller was more than special... It was orgasmic* I love Halo2~

Little Intro

So I am finally starting to enter this medical blogging realm. After weeks of lurking other truly interesting blogs I thought what a good way to vent. Nursing can be quite the stressful, demanding, eye rotting, and sicko profession. Yet when it all comes down to it, I love my job - I honestly love helping people. And if there is some supreme being out there - I think I've found my place. At least I can agree with that statement 80-90% of the time.
This blog with contain somewhat censored venting - abiding rules of FOIP and confidentiality. All those amusing ethic pamphlets that you were drenched with through school.

Little Info about myself:

Currently an RN for 1.5 years
In that age range 20-25years = irresponsible spending - realizing age is creeping up
My back hurts from my job
I work on a "brainless" unit = neuro
Lift weights regularly - the gym is where I find "inner peace and harmony"
Independent but attached
No children - sorry you won't find me near kids at this point in my life!
Fatty/ Sausage is the name of my CUTE, bariatric sized kitten
Living the urban life in this so called "great" city

Loving: nurse talk, medical suspense novels, chick novels, knitting hip scarves, politics,
Starbucks, green tea, afternoon naps, movie night in, mathematics, physics,
investing - ok that's enough disclosure for now - I'm starting to sound like a geek^2

Hating: poor team work, driving by fast food joint = irresistable urge to splurge, fatty's litter
bin, my anger management skills, paying bills, gas tank running short, tube feed splatters
on my rims... much more I just don't want to sound like a complete pessimist and "life hater"

Hope people will stop by and enjoy my musings.